Sunday, October 29, 2006

Damage

Build yourself into a mountain. What will come of it? When all is said and done you are still you. Try as you might you will not ever be anything but you. Even in death you will find that your heart is there with you. I look into my own eyes and I find that I look at eyes which I do not know. I can not read the thoughts of such eyes as I have and I am scared. What is to come of such a person? Will you still love me when you find me a mystery? Honor is one of the things I hope to instill into my family.

Listen to your feelings and you will find that you surprise yourself. I love the ocean, yet I was not born near it. History can not dictate what my life will be. I often find myself thinking of times of old, of the age of knights or pirates. Times when war was an every day thing. How did they come home then? Did they have the same misgivings as I do? I pray that things will only improve. Take my soul and see if you can break it, I think you will be surprised at the damage it can take and still remain whole.

8 comments:

Lynn said...

Please never stop writing, Zach. If I ever go to your site and see it gone, I'll be very sad. I want to read your first novel someday. Thank you for this post.

yulia said...

Have you read "Achilles in Vietnam"?
You might find it interesting...

Mike Crichton said...

What really brought this on is, Zack has stopped working out, and is upset at how quickly the flab is returning. I _told_ him it was a waste of time. ;-)

Anonymous said...

hey soldier boy,

butch and the kangaroos are gonna hang ole uncle saddam. who's next?

Anonymous said...

Hi Zach - I just learned about your blog through The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2006 edition and I wanted to tell you I was blown away. Your writing is amazing and it's very encouraging to see that it's not necessarily un-American to disagree with this war and with what is being asked of our soldiers in Iraq. I wish you all the best and I hope you're able to tame your demons.

Anonymous said...

i've just read your beautifully written blog from start to finish and i really hope it continues for everyone. It seems like it helps you alot to share and it definitely brings all manner of emotions to those reading it with you. Equally, if you fcan feel contentment and peace and you don't experience the need to write anymore then I really hope that too. with love to you and yours

Anonymous said...

We will always carry a part of Iraq with us, no matter where we spend our future days. Remember the ending of Jarhead, how he said he would always remember what his hands had done, no matter what he was doing in the future: caressing a woman, holding a baby, etc. There have been different names for it through different wars, but the truth is PTSD is a factor for anyone going through traumatic & war & life changing situations. The fact that you are aware of the changes in you will serve to aid you in your re-integration. I leave this shit hole real soon and while I'm totally stoked about it, when I'm completely honest, the whole reintegration thing scares me.

Sarah said...

You are an amazing person for what you have been through. I've been reading your blogs for a school assignment in English, and when I started reading yours I was amazed. We have a lot in common, besides the fact that I'm a 16 y/o high school student.