MY FELLOW AMERICANS

I would just like to say thanks to ALMOST ALL of the DEMOCRATS and SOME of the republicans who voted to get ME and MY FELLOW soldiers armor! There were 39 senators that thought we didn't need any armor. I think that this is pathetic and disgusting! You would let your soldiers be placed in danger and be too damn greedy to even give us armor. I am ashamed at you

MEMORIES OF DEATH

There is good out there even though at times it all seems bleak. There is also Death. How many have dealt in death? Some would call it murder. Well, I have a confession to make, my platoon and I have had over 192 confirmed kills during our first deployment here (during the war on our way to capture Baghdad). We targeted people and then they just disappeared. Why? They were going to kill me. I had my orders and they had theirs. We were mortal enemies because we were told that we were. There are some who would tell me to not think about what I had to do, or it will drive you insane. For me however, I can't help but think about it. They were men like me. Some of them were even conscripted into military service. What made them fight? Were they more scared of their leader than of us? What has become of their families? How could I forget or not think about all that I have done? Should I wash my hands of it all like Pontius Pilot? I think not. My choices have been made, my actions irreversible. So live I will, for we were the victors right? The ones who survived. It is our victory, and our burden to carry, and I bear it with both pride and with the greatest of remorse. Do you think that there is a special place in hell for people like me? Or will God judge me to have been a man of honor and duty? When they told us how many we had killed my first thought was pride. Pride for such a high number. How does one feel pride for killing? Two years later and my thoughts are changed, transformed if you will. Those were just numbers so long ago when I first heard them. Now however, I know that they were men with families like mine. It is crazy that we humans can be so destructive. There are people out there lining up to become martyrs, to kill themselves in order to kill others, and yet you still have people who fight tooth and nail to live for just one more minute longer. We are an oxymoron, humanity that is. What makes someone look down the sights of a rifle to take aim on a fellow human being? What does it take to pull the trigger? I have done those things. I have done them and would do it again if it meant returning to my wife and children again. Some of you may think that I am a beast and you are probably right. I am. I will kill, I will take aim and fire, I will call fire upon you from afar with rockets and bombs or anything I can get my hands on if it means that I will see my family one more time. But, I will also choose to dwell on and live with my choices. I chose to enlist as a soldier. My time has been served and now it is becoming overtime, but I won't just run away. As much as I would love to just be done (and rightly so now that I have been involuntarily extended). One thing is all I ask of you. I ask that you not judge me. Let me be my own judge for my judgment is harsher than any you could give me anyway. For I will always have those memories to remind me of what I have done and what I am. Please know that I pray for peace everyday, that and to see my family again...

The Country Where We Live

When I saw this story on Yahoo! News I was shocked. It is very alarming what they can do with the Patriot Act. Who will be next? Click below to find out more.

"THEN THEY CAME FOR THE CHILDREN"

Flower

Flower
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

I don't know what kind of flower this is (if ya know, please tell me). Just thought it looked nice so I took a picture of it...

Saddam's Initials

Saddam's Initials
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

Here you have Mr. Hussain's initials on the side of one of his palaces.

Doors in Tikrit

Doors in Tikrit
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

Here are a series of doors on a hilside in Tikrit Iraq.

Parking in Tikrit

Parking in Tikrit
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

the 'guest' parking garage for Saddam's guest palace.

Blades of grass

Blades of grass
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

It rained today, so I took some pics. Here is one that I think turned out well

Breakfast Fun Time Explosions

Ever had a wonderful breakfast interrupted by an attack? There you are eating your food in peace and some jerk feels the need to try and kill you. I mean MAN! What is your deal? Why do you have to bomb me and my friends? I like my eggs with pepper not mortars or car bombs.... You think these guys would have some manners ya know? Perhaps they don't realize that I want to get out of their country as much as they want me out. Well, perhaps not quite as much, I am not willing to blow myself up or do anything illegal to get out of here. Have you ever disliked what you were doing and the reasons for doing it, but knew that you had to keep doing it? That is how I feel. I am not about to disrespect my country which has given me so much by not completing my job and mission, but I do feel like we were lied to about our reasons for being here. For instance, I remember how big of a deal it was when I was here fighting in the war (during my first time here in 2003). We were looking for WMDs (weapons of mass destruction), and that was our MAIN goal. That is all our commanders talked about, and now the focus has changed to liberating Iraq. I am all for the liberation of Iraq, but lets be honest here... That isn't why we came in the first place (and our intel from the media and unclassified government reports show that there was no threat of WMDs) we came for those damn WMDs. It is a shame that they (the WMDs) aren't here for the sake of our damaged credibility. Now, why are we still here? Well I think that we DO need to stay here now that we have stirred this boiling pot and now it is bubbling over, but one thing I wish for is that our government would declare a timely schedule for pulling out and handing the Iraqis back their country. One thing I think would happen if we did that is the number of attacks would decrease. The reasoning behind this is that those groups that oppose American occupation (and lets be honest, we are OCCUPYING this country) would have a promise that is tangible of our departure. Perhaps then they could start focusing on more constructive things like how to rebuild their country and make it safe and beautiful once again instead of delaying our promised departure by attacking us. Now, I know that there are a lot of IFs here, but just think of what that would also do back home? How many families would breath that huge sigh of relief when they see their husbands, wives, sons, and daughters safely and permanently back home instead of still stirring that boiling volatile pot that is Iraq. There would be a greater chance of international aid that could come and take place of our departing forces, and the US burden (hundreds of billion of taxpayer's dollars) would finally have some much needed help to supply the Iraqis (instead of US corporations) with funds for the reconstruction of THEIR choice. Back home the effects would be dramatic, the president would INSTANTLY gain popularity (that he is currently lacking judging by the latest polls) and our economy would thrive again due to all those billions of dollars that would be staying in America instead of going to Halliburton. Well these are just some thoughts, of course they would need refining and help from others (not to mention actual political support), but I thing that THIS would be moving in the right direction, instead of our current trend of creating more and more enemies in foreign lands.

Yellow

100_1184
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

What makes you yellow? Does death? Does life? Who decides? Your circumstances or yourself? Why do you feel yellow? Does yellow mean your a coward? Can we be brave and still feel yellow? Do heroes feel yellow? Do villains? Is being yellow bad? Is it good? Is it just a feeling? Does feeling yellow make you hurt others? Does it make you give in when you know better? Can you overcome it? Do you want to? Is feeling yellow scary? Why?

I saw this while walking arround the base here in Tikrit, Iraq. I like how spikey it is. 

I saw this ledge and I just had to find out if I was able to jump off of it... 

A LETTER TO MY SENATOR PATTY MURRAY

Why? Why do I feel like such a failure as a father? Wouldn't a good father be there while their children grow up? To miss so much is of their lives can't be right. I realize that I have an obligation to being a soldier, but sometimes I feel that I have given the army enough of me and my family have been left wanting. What kind of dad am I? What kind of husband am I? My wife is left alone (for the second long span of time) waiting for me, and caring for our children. She is left being both mother and father. For example, my daughter will be going under for surgery tomorrow. Will I be there for her and my wife? No. I will be here in Iraq. Even to me this sounds pitiful and weak, what I really feel is rage. Rage at the kind of organization which does things like involuntarily extend thousands and thousands of its members, calling back even those who have been honorably discharged from their active service (IRR). You read the news, and you see by how many recruits that the army has failed to meet its yearly quota. Those of us left in are stuck covering those gaps formed by lack of new recruits. These gaps... Let’s talk about why they exist. They exist because soldiers are getting out of the army in droves. There are so many of us refusing to re-enlist in the kind of organization which fails to treat its members with respect or decency ALL of the time, instead of just some of the time (like when it is easy). Take me and my platoon for example. We are all linguists who specialize in the Arabic language. Now you may think that this would be important to maintain and keep up (especially if your unit is depending on you when you re-deploy back to Iraq). And for those of you out there who know what it takes to remain proficient in a language. It requires not only self study, but in order to improve you also need an instructor (preferable one who excels in the language, like a native speaker). Why else do you have teachers in the public school system but to facilitate learning? If you could just read the math and English books and just UNDERSTAND them through self study you wouldn't need teachers right? Well, we didn't even receive the army's mandatory 10 days of UNINTERUPTED language instruction the ENTIRE year before returning to Iraq. Let alone our equipment... You may have seen the "Mad Max" vehicle armor in Iraq. It is true that until the last few months many of us (to include myself) have had junk metal welded on our vehicles in lieu of actual armor. So we get sent back to Iraq this way. Lets not forget that during my last 4 months in America before re-deploying to Iraq, I was only able to spend 2 of them with my family (thank God I got Thanksgiving day and Christmas day) due to the army sending me different places for unit requirements (training that the unit needed to send a certain number of soldiers to). So now what do you have left? You have soldiers who have been so screwed over that they want nothing but to finish their enlistment with the army (whether they are involuntarily extended or not) and receive an honorable discharge. Believe me, this problem won’t improve until they begin treating us better (almost every time our battalion commander spoke to us before we left he would say things like, "some of you probably won't make it." and, "you may not all come back."). What kind of depressing message is that to for your troops? We KNOW that we may not all make it; we don't need to be reminded of it! So like I was saying, this problem won't fix itself. It will take (in addition to being treated honorably, and with respect) shorter tours away from family to Iraq and Afghanistan and an open and listening chain of command, and an end to the stop-loss policy (I thought the reason for having it was incase of a major attack, not for ongoing planned troop deployments). Our Sergeant Major said this before we left, "tell your wives that instead of calling the Inspector General (the office for investigations involving misconduct, and other discrepancies in the military) about the way we treat you all, tell them to call me. I was a recruiter and know how to talk to people." What kind of talk is this? Let’s not deal with an actual problem, just let me talk my way out of it. I ask only this! Let me go back to being a father. You (the army) have taken enough time away from me. I have served you, fought in the front lines of your war. Let me (and others like me) go, let us walk away, back to our lives and families. All I ask is that you let us do this with our honor and the honor of our Great Country.


Signed,

Sgt Zachary Scott-Singley
3rd Infantry Division (mech)

Fence

Fence
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

I took this pic while walking around the base here in Iraq. enjoy

A Rocket Attack

Rockets make great holes
When they don't blow up just right
We are all alive


this is a haiku about the rocket attack that hit near my work place yesterday

A LETTER BY SEN JIM McGOVERN

Here is a letter written by South Dakota Sen. Jim McGovern that I think everyone should read!

JUST CLICK THE WRITING ABOVE TO VIEW THE LETTER

Fishing in Iraq

Here is a fish that was caught in the lake by the house I live in. It was caught by an Iraqi worker who was fishing during his lunch break. 

Brick Wall

Finally you may bear witness to the epic battle of ROCKET MOUSE vs.
THE BRICK WALL

SSG Bradt

SSG Bradt
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

Running is hard work, but having a friend like Mickey Mouse along always helps!

Huge Nose

When I first saw this picture I thought to myself, "Man I have a
really huge nose!" Then I realized that, "YOU GO TO WAR WITH THE NOSE YOU HAVE, NOT THE NOSE YOU WISH YOU HAD."

ROCKET MOUSE

ROCKET MOUSE
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

Here comes Rocket Mouse! He can fly. Man he's serious.

Iraqi Lake

Iraqi Lake
Originally uploaded by nevadog.

The lake at FOB Danger and me.

Time Vortex

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you were Bill Murray in "Groundhog's Day"? Well I have found out. Every day over here in Tikrit is almost exactly the same as the day before. I walk around the same 5 miles or terrain on this base, I work the same time EVERY SINGLE DAY (no days off), I see the exact same people... There is probably a worn trail along the cement path I walk on to work each day. Every once in a while mortars will change the day a bit, but even that gets repetitive. I am very bored and yet glad because I am safe that way. Last time I was in Iraq I did things like foot patrols on the streets of down town Fallujah, translated and participated in raids, got shot at, shot back, and many other stupid things (not to mention being a part of the invasion part). It all made the time go by quicker, but it was so risky. So, over all I am glad that I am safer this time, but like I said, it is Groundhog's Day over here.

If anyone else has any "Groundhog's Day" stories feel free to share them as comments... you know what they say, Misery loves company ;)

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS?

You may ask, why do you serve? Is it for the college money, the steady job, the guaranteed salary? When I chose to be a soldier I had considered all of those things however, none of them were the reason that I had joined. Before I get to the why lets look at my history. My father had served in the army (in Vietnam), my grandfather had served in the army (during World War II), and my great grandfather had served in the army (during the Civil War). Nobody in my family made a big deal out of any of this though. None of them told me that I should or shouldn't join. I just thought that I should, like some unspoken tradition. So my reason was tradition along with a sense of patriotism which made up my mind. I took all this with me off to basic training (and when I got there the first thought that came to me was, "Oh, crud, what did I just do? This is definitely not for me!"). It was though, all of it, all for me and the hundreds of others who were there with me. It wasn't hard really when I look back, the hardest parts came after basic training. When I finished basic training I went to Monterey, CA for my Arabic language training. It was so beautiful there in Monterey. My daughter was born there, we lived a mile from the beach, and we were so very poor (with me trying to make it on the salary of an E-1 Private), but we were so happy (my family and I). Of course next came the path that led towards war.... WAR, such a simple word, just a single syllable, yet the images it brings to your mind go on for miles. They had struck us at our heart, on our own soil at the World Trade Center. I was ready, angry, and vengeful. I wanted war and I wanted to be a part of war, but Afghanistan wasn't for me, mine was waiting in Iraq, and my time came soon enough. Before I knew it I was there, part of the first troops to invade Iraq. We made history there, I was part of it. What did it feel like you ask? You may be surprised at the answer to this question. Of course there was the anger, excitement, loneliness, boredom, fear (oh yes, never a shortage of that when we had crossed the border), and also the happiness. We were protecting the world from WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. It is funny you know... Funny how life often comes full circle and you are again standing in the same place you started, yet this time you are perhaps a little wiser. I too came full circle. So here I am again in Iraq for my second time and still happy, not because of war though. War, that can transform people. You may think that I don't know what I am talking about. You may think that I just write this stuff to keep my sanity (you may even be right about that), but I say this, you don't have the full picture. I remember getting all my letters from home, some would tell me to get those Arabs, those towel heads, those terrorists, yet it is fear that breeds this way of thinking. Not intelligence, but fear of differences. You want me to let you in on a little secret? Ok, here it is. It isn't me that is afraid, I know what my bullets have done to other men. It it's not those soldiers who have had to shoot, or those who have REALLY been shot at that are afraid. It is those who don't have to see that we are all human. Those who's eyes never have to see the blood, death, or casualties. They call it all collateral damage... But let us return to my happiness. How could I possibly be happy over here? I am held longer in the army than my contract has stated (under the army's stop-loss policy). I am away from my family. I am in Iraq... My responce to these thoughts is simple. You can find happiness anywhere. I am happy for being alive (so many others have been less fortunate), for my health, for my wonderful wife and two beautiful children, for so many other great things that this list could go on and on.

Happiness can be found anywhere, even in a warzone.