Damage

Build yourself into a mountain. What will come of it? When all is said and done you are still you. Try as you might you will not ever be anything but you. Even in death you will find that your heart is there with you. I look into my own eyes and I find that I look at eyes which I do not know. I can not read the thoughts of such eyes as I have and I am scared. What is to come of such a person? Will you still love me when you find me a mystery? Honor is one of the things I hope to instill into my family.

Listen to your feelings and you will find that you surprise yourself. I love the ocean, yet I was not born near it. History can not dictate what my life will be. I often find myself thinking of times of old, of the age of knights or pirates. Times when war was an every day thing. How did they come home then? Did they have the same misgivings as I do? I pray that things will only improve. Take my soul and see if you can break it, I think you will be surprised at the damage it can take and still remain whole.

Hard Times

22 October 2006

After seeing another commercial for a reality show featuring a soldier coming home and having to make those readjustments back into being a civilian I felt so damn tired.

I don’t think I would mind if it was for the sake of education for the masses, but it was for entertainment. I believe there is a profound difference between showing people your personal nature for their own well being and showing people your personal nature for entertainment means.

I am not trying to disgrace the person who was doing the show, but I am saying that it is a shame that people are willing to promote this for their entertainment. A show about how hard it is to readjust back into civilian life…

Answered

My prayers were answered. My grandfather is alive and is doing just fine.

Praying

Tonight I learned that my Grandfather is on his way to the hospital. He is being delivered by ambulance through this snowy night in Wyoming. Heart trouble… That is all I have heard. Wishing he will be just fine won’t make it happen, but thinking about him dying is just as fruitless. In the dark I prayed when I got off the phone with my mother (she is the one who informed me). On my hands and knees I was praying.

God, keep my Grandfather safe, please don’t take him yet because we still need him here. You already have my Grandmother and if you could just let him stay a while longer. Keep his heart working and let him know how much I love him. I pray these things in your name, Amen.