What color?
The day is Red, red for violence, and blue because it was cold.
Another day complete and with it more lives are over as well.
Desire can lead to regret and time marches on as all things end.
Come now child, open your eyes, the world is far from perfect and the edges are raw and ragged. Let it go and come back when you are ready to see.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
AN OLDER PIC
Happy Thanksgiving
This Thanksgiving will be a lonely one for me, however there are many things I am thankful for. Lists are played out but today I will make an exception as I would like to name a few things:
My beautiful wife Tara who has stood by me through all the deployments and through all my nightmares.
My son Jake who is so smart and who never lets me forget that I am a child at heart.
My daughter Linnea who is so caring and pretty and who's imagination has no bounds.
I am also thankful for all of you who have offered your support during my year here in Iraq and I want to also thank Hurria (who's name means freedom in Arabic) for taking time out of your days to visit my humble blog and offer your opinions as the single Iraqi to do so. I often disagree with you, but I have great respect for you. You come to my blog and discuss an occupation which effects you daily in a way much more personally than it does me.
My beautiful wife Tara who has stood by me through all the deployments and through all my nightmares.
My son Jake who is so smart and who never lets me forget that I am a child at heart.
My daughter Linnea who is so caring and pretty and who's imagination has no bounds.
I am also thankful for all of you who have offered your support during my year here in Iraq and I want to also thank Hurria (who's name means freedom in Arabic) for taking time out of your days to visit my humble blog and offer your opinions as the single Iraqi to do so. I often disagree with you, but I have great respect for you. You come to my blog and discuss an occupation which effects you daily in a way much more personally than it does me.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Victory Parade
Does the US flag still have its meaning or has it become just another symbol to be used for gain, political or otherwise? When will it be enough? Over 2000 have died here in Iraq. What will they pay the war contractors with when the money is gone? Will they pay them with THEIR own sons and daughters?
I think not, for the day the money runs out we shall declare VICTORY, withdrawal our troops and start the victory parades back home. The Amputees won't be marching in the parade, the dead won't be smiling and waiving, and it won't give the children back their mothers and fathers.
What will that victory be? It will be a victory forged on the anvil of bankruptcy and only the deaf will hear it. After that the cameras will stop rolling and we won't show Iraq any more...
I think not, for the day the money runs out we shall declare VICTORY, withdrawal our troops and start the victory parades back home. The Amputees won't be marching in the parade, the dead won't be smiling and waiving, and it won't give the children back their mothers and fathers.
What will that victory be? It will be a victory forged on the anvil of bankruptcy and only the deaf will hear it. After that the cameras will stop rolling and we won't show Iraq any more...
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Lost Time
The time is short now, and getting shorter each day. For me I will be out of here in only about 2 months or so. It will end, but for those soldiers just coming here their year has only just begun, and for the Iraqis there is no end to their time here.
I have mixed feelings about this last year, part of me wishes to just forget it all and pretend like it never happened, but I know that I won't do that (I couldn't forget it even if I really wanted to). It has become a part of me and will shape my future just as every other major event in my life will.
I want you all to listen to me here, don't take it for granted! None of it. Every day you have with your kids, every kiss from your lover's lips, all of it matters. Don't get complacent with your heart and with your friends. I know that I sound like I am preaching to you, and in a way I am. You never know when you won't be able to be with those people. I would give so much to be with Tara, Jacob, and Linnea right now, even to wake up in the middle of the night to take my dog outside to pee, or to get Jake or Naya a drink of water.
To you Tara, my wife and my best friend, I will be home soon and I miss you with all my heart. Give both the kids a kiss from me tonight and let them know that I love them and that daddy will be home soon. The three of you are the most important things in my life and I am sorry for each minute I haven't spent with you. Take care Tara, I love you.
I have mixed feelings about this last year, part of me wishes to just forget it all and pretend like it never happened, but I know that I won't do that (I couldn't forget it even if I really wanted to). It has become a part of me and will shape my future just as every other major event in my life will.
I want you all to listen to me here, don't take it for granted! None of it. Every day you have with your kids, every kiss from your lover's lips, all of it matters. Don't get complacent with your heart and with your friends. I know that I sound like I am preaching to you, and in a way I am. You never know when you won't be able to be with those people. I would give so much to be with Tara, Jacob, and Linnea right now, even to wake up in the middle of the night to take my dog outside to pee, or to get Jake or Naya a drink of water.
To you Tara, my wife and my best friend, I will be home soon and I miss you with all my heart. Give both the kids a kiss from me tonight and let them know that I love them and that daddy will be home soon. The three of you are the most important things in my life and I am sorry for each minute I haven't spent with you. Take care Tara, I love you.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Anti Climax as told by me...
Looking back on my and my team's accomplishments it seems like the end of our tour will be anticlimactic. Even after capturing and ridding Iraq of many 'bad men' so many more have only come to take up the fight against us. How could this be? Perhaps it is because we have become "the Red Coats" in the eyes of the Iraqis, and to them this is their own version of our revolutionary war...
I can not tell you that is true however, for I am not an Iraqi, so in closing I must say that this, like most things on my blog, is but my humble observation and nothing more.
I can not tell you that is true however, for I am not an Iraqi, so in closing I must say that this, like most things on my blog, is but my humble observation and nothing more.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
The History Books
Some days begin with regret, some with happiness, others just begin. My uniform top has a hole worn in it where my rifle rubs on it, and my pants have the same. I feel like it is in my bones, the weariness and the purgatory of this deployment. I don't have it as hard as some, and yet I have it harder than others. Compared to last time I was here I have to admit it has been much better (living conditions that is).
I see a shooting star almost every night (remember, I work nights) and every time my wish is the same, you might be surprised what it is, but if I were to tell it wouldn't come true would it? Limbo, that is forward operations base Speicher. Nothing changes here except the beat of the mortar rounds as they hit at different times, often daily.
It is amazing what I have taken from my time in the Army. You might be surprised that when I joined I was a staunch republican. I had the utmost faith in the system that is our government and I was young. I can't say that I am much older now (only 5 and a half years have passed) but I am wiser about many things. I have lost my innocence and I am not so naive. I have met some wonderful people, and I have also met some people that I would rather not know.
It is a lot different when you can communicate with the Iraqis you know. When you can ask them how they feel about things instead of just telling them to get back with arm signals. They are people, and they are like you and I. Time may tell things differently just as the victors write the history books, but it seems that such a great injustice has been done, and we are getting farther and farther from the things we promised the Iraqis when we invaded. I will not attempt to predict the future however I can't help but let it be known that I fear we have gone too far and that our eyes were so much larger than our stomach.
I see a shooting star almost every night (remember, I work nights) and every time my wish is the same, you might be surprised what it is, but if I were to tell it wouldn't come true would it? Limbo, that is forward operations base Speicher. Nothing changes here except the beat of the mortar rounds as they hit at different times, often daily.
It is amazing what I have taken from my time in the Army. You might be surprised that when I joined I was a staunch republican. I had the utmost faith in the system that is our government and I was young. I can't say that I am much older now (only 5 and a half years have passed) but I am wiser about many things. I have lost my innocence and I am not so naive. I have met some wonderful people, and I have also met some people that I would rather not know.
It is a lot different when you can communicate with the Iraqis you know. When you can ask them how they feel about things instead of just telling them to get back with arm signals. They are people, and they are like you and I. Time may tell things differently just as the victors write the history books, but it seems that such a great injustice has been done, and we are getting farther and farther from the things we promised the Iraqis when we invaded. I will not attempt to predict the future however I can't help but let it be known that I fear we have gone too far and that our eyes were so much larger than our stomach.
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